Here I am now…

“Fourteen years!!! Wow, so it’s been that long since I first encountered my so-called infatuation.” whispered Selene as she tries to recollect what happened along those bitter-sweet years, but all she can feel is a stabbing pain of regret. She just finished another manga, Japanese comics that she got herself hooked up with. “I guess it’s my 100th manga already and I am really engrossed or should i say caught up with wishful thinking?”

Come to think of it Selene is escaping again into her own world, her own realm which she started to build when she was only 9 years old. A perfect world where she is always happy, doing whatever she wants, interacting with whoever she desires and gets what she needs. Love , attention, affection, joy, peace, happiness and everything else that she could ask for. But it’s proven that it did not serve her well.

Selene and Eros met Fourteen years ago, got intimate the minute they saw each other, not realizing the consequences of all their childish and irrational deeds. Their relationship started as rocky as a ship hauled by the giant waves in a stormy sea. But since it was Selene’s “first” she decided to go along with the hot current of lust and adventure, lost and blinded by her heart’s desire (or so she thought back then)she was rapidly being swallowed into an abyss where nothing can help her escape. She bore Eros’ children yet unsatisfied with the outcome of her not so fairytale love story Selene decided to seek her happiness elsewhere but as she ventures from one affair after the other it only increased the longing for freedom from all that has happened. She is empty, numb and in despair because she lost her youth, her life , her sanity, herself. The energetic, lovable, happy youthful Selene  no longer exist in this world. Her journey with Eros finally ended 4 years ago after an on-off battle for love, trust and respect, full of heartaches and delusions. I would say Selene lost that battle but until now she still continues to fight yet another battle, but this time she no longer fights for any other reasons other than her most precious children. Even without Eros by her side she is not alone anymore, she has a support group that increases as she shares her time to those in need.

Now as she closes another manga she somehow feels the loneliness creeping inside her trying to invade her guarded heart. She is now living a somewhat peaceful disposition in life…behind those addictive manga and writing hobby.

“I guess it’s time to read another manga where I can exchange places with each hero, taking on adventure and love one after the other.” sighed Selene and now is browsing her collection. “Dreamland here I go again. I will definitely face reality in due time”

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3 thoughts on “Here I am now…

  1. adam says:

    nice, familiar na story ha… but u forgot something…

    • iolair05 says:

      Forgot something? care to enlighten me?

    • iolair05 says:

      I plan to elaborate the story more, in time… I am waiting for the mood and inspiration to tell Selene’s encounters, affairs and journey in a much more meaningful way, where I can really convey what she really feels… do come again and read more =)

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