I always find myself every night staring at the moon; somehow it puts me in this trance that takes most of my strength and effort just to turn around. I get fascinated by the brightness it emits in the night sky. Whether the sky is clear or overcast, she always finds her way to shine. It’s as if the moon summons me, the gravity keeps pulling me to stare and be captivated. It is like an enchantress up in the sky, calling for her worshipers to admire her even more. As the full moon rises and her color changes, what else can you do but stare?
I’ve heard a lot of myths wherein werewolves transform when a full moon arises. It’s common to folklores way back from the medieval times and even the ancient Greeks. These are so-called humans whose ability is to shape shift into a wolflike beast ravaging into the night. Now once bitten or cursed a human can become a werewolf granted the moon is full. You can never really recognize the person inside as they transform, their face becomes elongated, dog-like savages, from normal canines to beastly fangs, their body weight and height doubles as claws grow long and wolf like fur covers every inch of their body. Folklore or myth these stories kept people from wandering at night in those days. Other’s associate the full moon with vampires, since they are nocturnal creatures. Being most powerful in the night doing anything and everything they please. It is said that the moon gives them extra power and stamina to deal with their huntings and feedings. Been a fan of these folklores, read so many novels and watch many movies, though at times it gives me the creeps, most often it fascinates me.
The moon also has great influence with people; they seem to behave erratically and become so loose in words and in action. That is why they used the word “lunatic” to describe these people who act as if they are crazy. Well there really is no proof on any of these claims; maybe it’s just the thought of seeing a full moon that gives people excuse.
But no matter stories derived from its influence, I know that when I look at the moon, I see myself staring back. Lonely yet reflects brilliance for others who look upon her. Sad yet often attracts patrons. Secretive yet alluring. These feelings and traits pains me and yet calms me at the same time as I share it with her.
I have been a cry baby since I was born, Shed millions of tears specially in my early adulthood. Why? I really don’t know, is it a sign of resignation? failure? hopelessness? happiness or relief? Why do we shed tears? I never really fathom why, it won’t do me any good at all. I just end up with puffy eyes, red nose and chest pains when I cry. I am always in denial, well that’s what’s perceived of me.
Suddenly my tears to escaped my eyes, not knowing why exactly (again). Let me figure it out first. I guess my subconscious mind is telling me to acknowledge the pain building up inside me, the worries I’ve pushed aside. You see I can never start to deal with worries and stress properly, my first reaction is to shove it aside and pretend as if nothing is wrong and live a day at a time but I know there are ways to deal with it properly and I know that I should start now or else it will consume me whole.
It’s suppose to free me of the building pressure but it just makes me more sad, more tensed, more stressed. I just want to be genuinely happy, not putting up facades every single day. Torn from what’s real and wishes still, I now have to make the first step to my discovery and development…easier said than done. 😀
black Black is my favorite shade, it’s good for outlines and backgrounds as well. It’s impression clings to me where ever I am… It’s like my gloomy past that I can always look back at and learn every lesson I can.
red Red will make a great contrast to fill in even the tiniest dot in the blackness. It’s the color of blood which runs through my veins and is what gushes out whenever I feel hurt and pain from the world around me
yellow Yellow will lead the light back in the darkened areas of the picture. It somehow balances the emptiness in the canvass of black and red. Yet it will make a very psyched picture if you happen to do it with a Gothic mood….