Forum Life

I heard a lot about forums and stuff but never tried to visit or join one. I have this site where I read stuff, it has forums and members, I was hesitant at first but after visiting the site for Two months I decided to get registered, free registration actually.  Fixed up my profile, posted pictures, sketches, joined groups and started visiting the forums. I found myself posting replies to the games and got hooked. Then I started to have friends, spending the usual reading time (online) with them chatting, exchanging stories and opinions on stuff, comments and reviews. I then got myself so involved in their “personal lives” yet always having the benefit of the doubt. Is he/she telling the truth? I really found most of my so-called online friends truthful but there are still people who’d make up stories after stories. Some I even received emails from their personal accounts, even knew their real names and their life stories. We get to share a lot of things in their “real world” too. But when I visit other threads where they also post, I get to see the other side of the mask, their mask…how they perceive things, how open-minded they are and who they really are…I guess it’s all in the matter of what you want others to see you as…or what you want to tell others, what you want to share with them…the real life or the forum life. So the question is right now…which side of ME have I really shown them?

Chapter 9 : Unexpected Outcome

It was such a very trying 5 years for me since I reunited with Charlie. He never recovered from his selective amnesia, he remembered well how to run his empire and how to dance but he never remembered who I am. He never accepted and treated me as his wife nor friend, whenever I am around he would be so irritable and annoyed, he often show despise and distraught, I could not believe that this is my Charlie, my husband. But all those five years I never showed him that it bothered me, I showed more love and affection. My patience was always being tried. I did everything that we usually enjoyed before, breakfast in the garden, I would play the pianoforte, I would take him to The Crypt with me at nights and dance for a couple of hours. I would even serve him his favorite meal everyday. I can see all the servants and security aids pitying me especially Bruce who always was at my side giving me hope each day and strength with his encouraging words of wisdom. One day I just received a message from Charlie’s lawyer asking for an audience. He gave the news to me straight and hard when I met him, “Please sign this Madame Graham, Mr. Graham is filing for a divorce, he could not continue living with a woman whom he claims to be a stranger. He also will take care of the 7 years that you spent married to him with monetary consolation and your favorite resort in Hawaii. He also ask that you not fight his request anymore for both party’s benefit. The private jet will take you straight to France where your entourage will be waiting your personal things are taken cared of as we speak and will be sent to your villa by tomorrow morning.I deeply regret to be the bearer of these news Valerie, I know how you suffered all these years and how you truly cared for Charles.” I signed the papers, left the package of consolation and shook the lawyer’s hand and left without a word.
The gravity of my divorce only hit me when I arrive that noon at the château, “home sweet home” I exhaled.  I went straight to ask the chef of the main house for his best bottle of red wine and took a glass with me, started drinking in solitary confinement of the Blue Rose garden. It was close to eleven that evening when I turned around and saw Alec staring at me from the opening of the maze. “It’s such a pity for a lady to finish a bottle of the best alone. The servants told me you’ve been out here since noon and haven’t touched your food yet that’s your second bottle.”  He close in the distance and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek, “How are you cheri? I am so sorry for not being the one to welcome you back, I finished most of the week’s transaction reports on Le Blanc so I could spend this week with you.”  He gently took the empty bottle of my hand and led me to the secret path through my villa. “Cheri I believe you need to rest now and tomorrow we will have a very busy day. But if you want to talk about “it” I’d be willing to listen.” I guess it’s the influence of the alcohol in my blood, I just decided to drag Alec at the back of the villa to the gazebo. “Dance with me Monsieur Mowatt, tonight we will relive our days at The Crypt, remember the music that we danced to when we won the contest? I can hear the music playing now Alec, my body is aching for the old times. Feel the music at it moves your body Alec…” We dance that instant in unison, the same Argentine Tango that we danced at The Crypt on the night of the contest. We won that night, it was my first. Alec and I danced as if it was just yesterday, flawless and the intense feeling still there. The ending was a dip and after that was supposedly a deep passionate kiss, but unexpectedly I passed out. Alec carried me to my room and put me to bed. He was about to kiss me on the lips when he heard me murmured “I love you, Charlie” and tears escaped my eyes. He wiped those tears and kissed my forehead instead and left me.
True to his word Alec spent the week with me, entertaining me taking me to museums, restaurants, plays and concerts. I momentarily felt so relieved but on the seventh night I had a very brief and sincere talk with Alec pouring out my feelings yet I am now resolved and will start moving on. I will now also start helping Alec running Le Blanc.

The next couple of months passed quickly with Alec keeping me in tow, we would visit all the partners and branches, within France and abroad. He also helped me arranged a meeting with Charlie’s lawyer, I returned the monetary consolation and the deed of the resort at Hawaii that they sent together with my luggage. I was enjoying the business world now, Alec taught me everything I need to know. It was sooner than I’ve expected when Alec reintroduced me in the empire, gathered all the new board of directors, CEOs, partners and managers under Le Blanc empire. He then turned over everything to my care but still under his supervision. My world now was the empire and it kept me busy enough to think of my past I was enjoying every single day of it, yet from time to time Alec would update me with the outside world and drag me out of my office and take me to an amusement park or museum or the beach for me to relax and loosen up a bit.

On my 30th birthday he took me to Mount Ruapehu, New Zealand. I get to buy my first set of  ski, the experience was so magnificent, I never wanted to leave that place. It was a very nice winter get-away/ birthday present to receive from Alec. We were check in at Bayview Chateau Tongariro, dined at their restaurant and had a night-cap at our adjoining suites. We were drinking wine and sharing old stories of childhood when I remembered my surprise gift. I stood up went to my bedside table and grabbed a wooden box. “This is my very belated birthday gift for you, Happy 30th birthday! I’m really sorry for being so late, I did not forget your birthday but I was so engrossed with work I never stepped out of the office to buy your gift. I hope you like it.” Alec opened the box and was smiling when he took out the gold-plated pocket watch with a matching 24k gold chain, he read the inscription out loud, “to my mentor, hero and mon ami…toujours Valerie“.  He was now teary eyed, embraced me and said “merci, merci cheri”. “Why are you frowning Alec, are you upset? I thought you’d like it, do you want to change it?” Alec took my hand and said”It’s not that cheri, I love this, I’m honored as well.” I tilted Alec’s face so I can see well into his eyes, “And what’s the matter, can’t you tell me?” He fished for something in his jacket and sat beside me. “Since the day we met I knew I felt something special for you Valerie, but we both detest match-makings that is why we acted indifferently towards each other since that day.  Then I met Claudette and married her, I thought the feelings would’ve died by then, but it was just slumbering. Then all of those incidents in the past, the circumstances that developed , I thought fate was playing with me, I was being painfully led towards you, and these past months I know that my feelings for you since that first time I saw you grew even more. I planned to propose to you tonight. Hence, this black diamond ring, I love you so much Valerie, but I don’t want to lose you. If proposing to you means losing our friendship then I’d rather be your friend and companion forever and run the empire with you.” He took the ring out of the box and put it in my finger, “This is your birthday gift cheri, mon ami toujours! ” then kissed my cheek. I instinctively held kiss face and kissed both his cheeks a couple of times being so grateful that he understands me. Then Alec got carrier away, he began kissing me with warmth and passion, I returned the kisses and when we broke off I said to him in a gentle tone,”Thank you for understanding me Alec, you really are a true friend. Yes, we love each other very much but both on different levels. The respect you have given me since the first day we met up until now is unwavering and I am grateful for that. I will cherish this ring and you, Monsieur Christian Alexander Mowatt forever. ”
…..fin…..

A poker face for the Immigrant Visa

Leigh just heard the news a while ago that her daughter, whom she last held when her baby was about 7 months old, is now being petitioned, by the grandfather. The father whose immigrant visa just came through is now awaiting his daughter’s.
Leigh kept the poker face, this is what’s best for her and this is what must done. Leigh wants her daughter’s future to be happy and secure. She knew someday they would meet her again…
“May the angels guard and guide you back to me in time.” Leigh sighed, deep behind that poker face is a mother grieving and yearning for a child she once had in her arms.

The indescribable mini me

She walks, she talks, she laughs, she thinks

She plays, she kids,she cries, she sleeps

the mini me is a replica indeed of the big me in her small body

though I try hard to understand her

I still can’t comprehend her complexities

the mini me inside her is the reflection I longed to care for…

The mini me inside her, oh how I long to understand her…

the mini me…the indescribable me…

Moon’s Influence

I always find myself every night staring at the moon; somehow it puts me in this trance that takes most of my strength and effort just to turn around. I get fascinated by the brightness it emits in the night sky. Whether the sky is clear or overcast, she always finds her way to shine. It’s as if the moon summons me, the gravity keeps pulling me to stare and be captivated. It is like an enchantress up in the sky, calling for her worshipers to admire her even more. As the full moon rises and her color changes, what else can you do but stare?

I’ve heard a lot of myths wherein werewolves transform when a full moon arises. It’s common to folklores way back from the medieval times and even the ancient Greeks. These are so-called humans whose ability  is to shape shift into a wolflike beast ravaging into the night.  Now once bitten or cursed a human can become a werewolf granted the moon is full. You can never really recognize the person inside as they transform, their face becomes elongated, dog-like savages, from normal canines to beastly fangs, their body weight and height doubles as claws grow long and wolf like fur covers every inch of their body. Folklore or myth these stories kept people from wandering at night in those days. Other’s associate the full moon with vampires, since they are nocturnal creatures. Being most powerful in the night doing anything and everything they please. It is said that the moon gives them extra power and stamina to deal with their huntings and feedings. Been a fan of these folklores, read so many novels and watch many movies, though at times it gives me the creeps, most often it fascinates me.

The moon also has great influence with people; they seem to behave erratically and become so loose in words and in action. That is why they used the word “lunatic” to describe these people who act as if they are crazy. Well there really is no proof on any of these claims; maybe it’s just the thought of seeing a full moon that gives people excuse.

But no matter stories derived from its influence, I know that when I look at the moon, I see myself staring back. Lonely yet reflects brilliance for others who look upon her. Sad yet often attracts patrons. Secretive yet alluring. These feelings and traits pains me and yet calms me at the same time as I share it with her.

Y and Z at a school program

Y is younger than Z by 3 years, active, outspoken, sporty and will not stay still. While Z on the other hand is the complete opposite, shy and timid, soft-spoken, introvert and fragile.

But today in their school program I’ve seen them both in a different way, both on the same level of enthusiasm, same level of attention, but definitely with different goals.

The school program commemorates the Filipino language so the students were to dress up in the Filipino traditional outfits, sing Filipino-Nationalistic songs, compete on solo and group declaration (of course in Filipino language). Thus the program went well even though there were some technical difficulties experienced and some disorder with the parents trying to take photos and videos of their kids even if they are blocking the parent behind them, it was a success.

After the fun-filled and tiring half day program, i got to see Y and Z’s faces again when I was uploading their still photos from the digital camera to our computer. I got to see their real smile, I really understood that even though they have different goals for this day, the result were the same. Both of them were so happy…genuinely happy. Such pure sweet hearts, easy to please and to ease. I would not let anything steal these smiles away from them. Looking forward for more….

Stay still

A 7-year-old kid today will not stay put even if you say so…

Bribing wont even do you good…

most teenagers would be okay if you get into an agreement,

but it is different for this younger ones…

Most kids today are with Attention Deficit HyperActivity disorder

but personally I think these kids are just moving

according to the speed of their on.

They are just seeking attention, like normal kids do too

but only in a different way and pacing.

So it is not wise to say stay still

unless you are willing to give your full attention… your love