Windy Tales – my version…amazed

This is my version of “Windy Tales”   http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=3447

It’s just a part of my collection. I am not a pro on photography and I was on a plane going home so the shots are not as defined as I’d like them to be.

I love how these clouds shift shapes and shades. From the cauliflower heads to the waves of the sea. Snow white cotton balls here and there, like the back of a lamb flock that’s moving forward. I also thought of cotton candies.

I felt like a kid wanting to run around, jump from cloud to cloud, and even swim the vast sea of fluffiness.

Chapter 9 : Unexpected Outcome

It was such a very trying 5 years for me since I reunited with Charlie. He never recovered from his selective amnesia, he remembered well how to run his empire and how to dance but he never remembered who I am. He never accepted and treated me as his wife nor friend, whenever I am around he would be so irritable and annoyed, he often show despise and distraught, I could not believe that this is my Charlie, my husband. But all those five years I never showed him that it bothered me, I showed more love and affection. My patience was always being tried. I did everything that we usually enjoyed before, breakfast in the garden, I would play the pianoforte, I would take him to The Crypt with me at nights and dance for a couple of hours. I would even serve him his favorite meal everyday. I can see all the servants and security aids pitying me especially Bruce who always was at my side giving me hope each day and strength with his encouraging words of wisdom. One day I just received a message from Charlie’s lawyer asking for an audience. He gave the news to me straight and hard when I met him, “Please sign this Madame Graham, Mr. Graham is filing for a divorce, he could not continue living with a woman whom he claims to be a stranger. He also will take care of the 7 years that you spent married to him with monetary consolation and your favorite resort in Hawaii. He also ask that you not fight his request anymore for both party’s benefit. The private jet will take you straight to France where your entourage will be waiting your personal things are taken cared of as we speak and will be sent to your villa by tomorrow morning.I deeply regret to be the bearer of these news Valerie, I know how you suffered all these years and how you truly cared for Charles.” I signed the papers, left the package of consolation and shook the lawyer’s hand and left without a word.
The gravity of my divorce only hit me when I arrive that noon at the château, “home sweet home” I exhaled.  I went straight to ask the chef of the main house for his best bottle of red wine and took a glass with me, started drinking in solitary confinement of the Blue Rose garden. It was close to eleven that evening when I turned around and saw Alec staring at me from the opening of the maze. “It’s such a pity for a lady to finish a bottle of the best alone. The servants told me you’ve been out here since noon and haven’t touched your food yet that’s your second bottle.”  He close in the distance and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek, “How are you cheri? I am so sorry for not being the one to welcome you back, I finished most of the week’s transaction reports on Le Blanc so I could spend this week with you.”  He gently took the empty bottle of my hand and led me to the secret path through my villa. “Cheri I believe you need to rest now and tomorrow we will have a very busy day. But if you want to talk about “it” I’d be willing to listen.” I guess it’s the influence of the alcohol in my blood, I just decided to drag Alec at the back of the villa to the gazebo. “Dance with me Monsieur Mowatt, tonight we will relive our days at The Crypt, remember the music that we danced to when we won the contest? I can hear the music playing now Alec, my body is aching for the old times. Feel the music at it moves your body Alec…” We dance that instant in unison, the same Argentine Tango that we danced at The Crypt on the night of the contest. We won that night, it was my first. Alec and I danced as if it was just yesterday, flawless and the intense feeling still there. The ending was a dip and after that was supposedly a deep passionate kiss, but unexpectedly I passed out. Alec carried me to my room and put me to bed. He was about to kiss me on the lips when he heard me murmured “I love you, Charlie” and tears escaped my eyes. He wiped those tears and kissed my forehead instead and left me.
True to his word Alec spent the week with me, entertaining me taking me to museums, restaurants, plays and concerts. I momentarily felt so relieved but on the seventh night I had a very brief and sincere talk with Alec pouring out my feelings yet I am now resolved and will start moving on. I will now also start helping Alec running Le Blanc.

The next couple of months passed quickly with Alec keeping me in tow, we would visit all the partners and branches, within France and abroad. He also helped me arranged a meeting with Charlie’s lawyer, I returned the monetary consolation and the deed of the resort at Hawaii that they sent together with my luggage. I was enjoying the business world now, Alec taught me everything I need to know. It was sooner than I’ve expected when Alec reintroduced me in the empire, gathered all the new board of directors, CEOs, partners and managers under Le Blanc empire. He then turned over everything to my care but still under his supervision. My world now was the empire and it kept me busy enough to think of my past I was enjoying every single day of it, yet from time to time Alec would update me with the outside world and drag me out of my office and take me to an amusement park or museum or the beach for me to relax and loosen up a bit.

On my 30th birthday he took me to Mount Ruapehu, New Zealand. I get to buy my first set of  ski, the experience was so magnificent, I never wanted to leave that place. It was a very nice winter get-away/ birthday present to receive from Alec. We were check in at Bayview Chateau Tongariro, dined at their restaurant and had a night-cap at our adjoining suites. We were drinking wine and sharing old stories of childhood when I remembered my surprise gift. I stood up went to my bedside table and grabbed a wooden box. “This is my very belated birthday gift for you, Happy 30th birthday! I’m really sorry for being so late, I did not forget your birthday but I was so engrossed with work I never stepped out of the office to buy your gift. I hope you like it.” Alec opened the box and was smiling when he took out the gold-plated pocket watch with a matching 24k gold chain, he read the inscription out loud, “to my mentor, hero and mon ami…toujours Valerie“.  He was now teary eyed, embraced me and said “merci, merci cheri”. “Why are you frowning Alec, are you upset? I thought you’d like it, do you want to change it?” Alec took my hand and said”It’s not that cheri, I love this, I’m honored as well.” I tilted Alec’s face so I can see well into his eyes, “And what’s the matter, can’t you tell me?” He fished for something in his jacket and sat beside me. “Since the day we met I knew I felt something special for you Valerie, but we both detest match-makings that is why we acted indifferently towards each other since that day.  Then I met Claudette and married her, I thought the feelings would’ve died by then, but it was just slumbering. Then all of those incidents in the past, the circumstances that developed , I thought fate was playing with me, I was being painfully led towards you, and these past months I know that my feelings for you since that first time I saw you grew even more. I planned to propose to you tonight. Hence, this black diamond ring, I love you so much Valerie, but I don’t want to lose you. If proposing to you means losing our friendship then I’d rather be your friend and companion forever and run the empire with you.” He took the ring out of the box and put it in my finger, “This is your birthday gift cheri, mon ami toujours! ” then kissed my cheek. I instinctively held kiss face and kissed both his cheeks a couple of times being so grateful that he understands me. Then Alec got carrier away, he began kissing me with warmth and passion, I returned the kisses and when we broke off I said to him in a gentle tone,”Thank you for understanding me Alec, you really are a true friend. Yes, we love each other very much but both on different levels. The respect you have given me since the first day we met up until now is unwavering and I am grateful for that. I will cherish this ring and you, Monsieur Christian Alexander Mowatt forever. ”
…..fin…..

The indescribable mini me

She walks, she talks, she laughs, she thinks

She plays, she kids,she cries, she sleeps

the mini me is a replica indeed of the big me in her small body

though I try hard to understand her

I still can’t comprehend her complexities

the mini me inside her is the reflection I longed to care for…

The mini me inside her, oh how I long to understand her…

the mini me…the indescribable me…

Moon’s Influence

I always find myself every night staring at the moon; somehow it puts me in this trance that takes most of my strength and effort just to turn around. I get fascinated by the brightness it emits in the night sky. Whether the sky is clear or overcast, she always finds her way to shine. It’s as if the moon summons me, the gravity keeps pulling me to stare and be captivated. It is like an enchantress up in the sky, calling for her worshipers to admire her even more. As the full moon rises and her color changes, what else can you do but stare?

I’ve heard a lot of myths wherein werewolves transform when a full moon arises. It’s common to folklores way back from the medieval times and even the ancient Greeks. These are so-called humans whose ability  is to shape shift into a wolflike beast ravaging into the night.  Now once bitten or cursed a human can become a werewolf granted the moon is full. You can never really recognize the person inside as they transform, their face becomes elongated, dog-like savages, from normal canines to beastly fangs, their body weight and height doubles as claws grow long and wolf like fur covers every inch of their body. Folklore or myth these stories kept people from wandering at night in those days. Other’s associate the full moon with vampires, since they are nocturnal creatures. Being most powerful in the night doing anything and everything they please. It is said that the moon gives them extra power and stamina to deal with their huntings and feedings. Been a fan of these folklores, read so many novels and watch many movies, though at times it gives me the creeps, most often it fascinates me.

The moon also has great influence with people; they seem to behave erratically and become so loose in words and in action. That is why they used the word “lunatic” to describe these people who act as if they are crazy. Well there really is no proof on any of these claims; maybe it’s just the thought of seeing a full moon that gives people excuse.

But no matter stories derived from its influence, I know that when I look at the moon, I see myself staring back. Lonely yet reflects brilliance for others who look upon her. Sad yet often attracts patrons. Secretive yet alluring. These feelings and traits pains me and yet calms me at the same time as I share it with her.

Stay still

A 7-year-old kid today will not stay put even if you say so…

Bribing wont even do you good…

most teenagers would be okay if you get into an agreement,

but it is different for this younger ones…

Most kids today are with Attention Deficit HyperActivity disorder

but personally I think these kids are just moving

according to the speed of their on.

They are just seeking attention, like normal kids do too

but only in a different way and pacing.

So it is not wise to say stay still

unless you are willing to give your full attention… your love

Their LOVE Story

I heard her story when she first graced her appearance to our Victory Group (a bible study group – but not your conventional one) where she shared her “love” story. With that very touching story she was also interviewed at 700 Club Asia. A VERY REAL, sad love story that gave me shivers when I first heard of it.

Then yesterday I attended our church’s Leaders’ Convergence, they shared her story, this time it was in a video with her husband. I was really in tears and thought that miracle can happen to anyone who seeks God for intervention. And with our church starting a new series today entitled “Infinitude” where in it tackles about God’s immeasurable attributes. It’s a four-part series; this week’s topic is about “Immutable” – wherein God’s attributes NEVER change. The pastor sited so many samples of changes around us even the relationships we are in, especially when we do not focus on fixed points, like God, who never changes. His mind, purpose, plan and promises…again they showed Tina’s video. Even as I write it now my eyes get clouded with tears of hope, joy and love…

You see Tina is a real fighter, a real believer and follower of God. She got married because she was about to gave birth to their son, and as like all married couples problem arose and things got difficult. They already had 2 sons when her husband started cheating on her and left them. The husband even said (on the video) that he thought that God would accept what he did because he put the blame all on her, he filed for an annulment. During those times Tina sought God. Read the bible with her sons and continued praying asking God for guidance and intervention. His husband on the other hand was feeling incomplete instead of the freedom that he thought he would feel after leaving his family. He was left with nothing,, no God, no family and no wife.

Then he went to pastoral counseling went to Victory Weekend, got baptized again and got born-again …again. He started courting Tina, went on dates with her, took her out-of-town, and gave flowers and card saying “I love you”. And after 9 long years they got married…again. As Tina puts it, “it’s still a work in progress” but as God as the center of their relationship, their family the drastic changes that happened before that ruined them is now turning completely around. Their family is now happily living the way God planned it, God promised us that whoever seeks, will find, whoever asked will be answered…true to His words, He answered Tina’s prayers. Truly nothing is impossible with our One true God. He never changes His plans, His Promises, His mind and His Love for all of us…He has a different approach, different ways with dealing with all of us. So why fix your focus on things that would gradually fade away, Earthly treasures, Worldly needs and happiness will not last forever.

Her story gave me hope, joy and sadness all at the same time…will I have the same miracles, good changes , turns and chances in life? Well, I already am confident that I can answer this with a big YES! I got involved with the church and so are my 3 kids… and true enough the changes in our lives even without my husband beside me is good and gave me peace of mind because I know that My God , my savior, my provider is also my kids’ FATHER and my best friend, my partner forever and that will never change. A testimony for everyone to listen and learn that relying on your own strength and own capabilities are never enough.

With immeasurable faith in God her story will be mine or yours one day…

suddenly…tears

I have been a cry baby since I was born, Shed millions of tears specially in my early adulthood. Why? I really don’t know, is it a sign of resignation? failure? hopelessness? happiness or relief? Why do we shed tears? I never really fathom why, it won’t do me any good at all. I just end up with puffy eyes, red nose and chest pains when I cry. I am always in denial, well that’s what’s perceived of me.

Suddenly my tears to escaped my eyes, not knowing why exactly (again). Let me figure it out first. I guess my subconscious mind is telling me to acknowledge the pain building up inside me, the worries I’ve pushed aside. You see I can never start to deal with worries and stress properly, my first reaction is to shove it aside and pretend as if nothing is wrong and live a day at a time but I know there are ways to deal with it properly and I know that I should start now or else it will consume me whole.

It’s suppose to free me of the building pressure but it just makes me more sad, more tensed, more stressed. I just want to be genuinely happy, not putting up facades every single day. Torn from what’s real and wishes still, I now have to make the first step to my discovery and development…easier said than done.  😀

Have you had tears all of a sudden escaping you?