2010 to 2011

As the year 2010 bids farewell, I suddenly had these flashbacks of the events that happened, the highlights and the not so wonderful things that made me what I am now. I learned from the different sides of ME, I got acquainted with the vulnerable side which I tried to suppress for years, got to see the stronger side of ME, I even got the chance to be acquainted again with my childhood. I felt pain, sadness, overwhelmed, overjoyed and at peace.

Still at times I tend to forget and return to the old ME that I dealt with and keeping  what I’ve learned to proper use. Keeping myself in check and facing the challenges up ahead, I can say that I am looking forward in welcoming 2011 with a fresher and more positive outlook. I have indeed learned a lot from 2010 and a part from that I know I have accomplished so much from the old “ME”.

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Chapter 8: Revelations

Confused and nowhere to go, that is how I am now. It is very agonizing , how I came to this point of my life. There is nothing left for me, no reason to live and continue this journey called life. Before I have everything that I could wish for and easily dispose off things, now in a blink of an eye I’m reduced to nothing. I used to wear lovely couture dresses, shoes and bags. Young women my age envy me for my beauty, fame and fortune. Graceful, elegant and seductive, I am Valerie Blanc, from a noble family in France and the Princess of Tango – the renowned Blue Rose Tango. I guess you can say that I have experience a great loss in love that I can express the Tango’s real emotion exquisitely. I have enchanted many men through my Tango. But that is now my past as I ended up destitute and now seeking refuge under this bridge away from the prying eyes.

“Wake up, Princess your carriage awaits you.”  jolted by harsh hands and their mocking laughter, they blindfolded me and dragged me. I guess it took me an hour or so being  dragged and driven to nowhere I guess. The next thing I saw was a blinding light and Alec’s angelic face then I passed out again. The dreams continued to haunt me, I kept seeing daddy, Claudette, Charlie and Monsieur Duncan. I kept chasing them as the scenes from my childhood to my wedding day flash back. Then a sudden soft comforting voice called my name, “Valerie, are you alright? Everything will be fine from now on cheri.” I know that familiar voice, when I opened my eyes I saw Alec sitting beside me in the bed holding my hands. “I guess you are having a bad dream again cheri, you kept mumbling and grunting in your sleep. You are safe now, the doctors came earlier and gave you these dextrose and medications, plus a bit of sedative, you should rest now Valerie, I promise I won’t leave you. ” then I passed out again. I woke up a bit refreshed and rested the next day, Alec was really there beside me and attended to my needs then I slept again for the day. On the third day I woke up by mid-day and surprised to see Alec extracting my blood. “So you became a doctor now?” I smiled. Alec kissed me on the forehead and said “Hello there, sleeping beauty, you’ve been in and out for 3 days, I guess you are feeling better now, you can even smile sweetly at me. I’ve done all extractions from you and I even inserted this dextrose on you, we’ll just finish that bottle and off it goes. I want to take care of you first hand and make sure nothing happens again.”

It took me a 10 days to fully recover, now that I have my strength back, I can go out and catch some fresh air. Alec brought me to the gazebo where my favorite breakfast awaits, croissant, freshly squeezed orange juice, diced tropical fruits and brewed coffee. After breakfast Alec and I had our very first long talk since I came back.

“I have so many things to tell you cheri, which may answer most of your questions.” he led me to our comfy Cleopatra chairs and started talking. “When your father had his first heart attack he contacted me immediately and asked me to help him run the empire, discretely of course, I was also given the power to run Le Blanc in the absence of the heir. He also  knew that there was a plot to overrun his place as the president by the board of directors, I was also leading a team who investigates that matter. And when your father died I was pulling all the strings for you and Monsieur Duncan in the empire, but when he died I devoted myself and the team in nailing the board of directors. The day you got kidnapped was the day they were almost caught, I was in the midst of an agreement,  the seven board of directors, who were really pulling the strings for the overtake and Monsieur Duncan’s death and all those threats you received, when their goons took you as assurance and tie my hands for any entrapment they thought  I was planing.” Alec reached over to me and checked my pulse out of impulse. “Are you okay cheri? Do you have any questions? Do you still want me to continue or should we rest first?”  I smiled and assured Alec I was fine and I wanted to hear more. “Okay. My team searched for you for 3 days and 3 nights and on the 4th day just before you were to be brought back to Cannes, my team intercepted those bad guys and brought you back to me, where I raced back as soon as I sealed the agreement from the board of directors, I had the three directors signed a confession implicating the other seven directors being the masterminds of the mishaps and most of the fund loses since the past 8 years.”  I looked at Alec and smiled, “So that’s what you’ve been up to those times and you don’t know how great it felt when I saw your face after that blinding light that day. I had a recurring dream for that three scary nights, alone and cold, I kept seeing my childhood until my wedding in flashes, I saw daddy, Claudette, Charlie and Monsieur Duncan, then the dream would usually end up with me in rag clothes and under a bridge alone and shivering just like a pauper in the streets. I guess it was because I was not fed for three days and nights not even a single drop of water grazed my lips, but since that is all in the past now and I am really grateful that you kept you promise to daddy and cared for the empire and me, you never left my side since I came back, I know daddy and Claudette is looking at us and happy of what you are sacrificing for me and Le Blanc. I just wish Charlie is also here with us.” I blinked back the tears that were starting to blur my vision. “And lastly, Bruce called me this morning and said that they found Charlie’s plane in the Congo and are on their way back to London, he will be treated at the mansion, the private jet will be sent for you in four days.” I embraced Alec. “This is great Alec, won’t you come with me?” “Cheri, as much as I’d want to I can’t I need to make sure that the trial goes smoothly and I also need to put the empire back on its feet and prepare it for the time you’ll be managing it. But Bruce also mentioned that Charles did not receive any severe injuries except for an amnesia, but they are not sure about what degree it is yet.” When Alec saw the concern in my eyes he embraced me tighter and whispered words of encouragement and wisdom. “Now I think it’s time for you to rest in your room, get all the strength and energy you’ll be needing for the flight back to London. For the remaining days here in France, I’ll make sure to treat the princess as a queen and give you all the best that you want and need, I made arrangements at the office, I’ll stay with you till you return to Charlie.”

Chapter 6 : Blue Rose Wedding

I was staring at my reflection, the make up emphasized my eyes, it complimented well with my baroque gown in medieval renaissance Tudor dress design, the black velvet and gold brocade. Claudette loosely tied my hair in a bun with loose tendrils. Today’s the day, I’m going to walk down that aisle and exchange promises to Charlie. Up until now, I’m still getting used to the fact that I’m going to be Madame Graham and will be living in Notting hill mansion. wasn’t it just a month ago I turned 18, got engaged and now this. I could not believe it either when Charlie took me to London as an engagement gift for a week. He even invited Claudette and Alec to stay with us in his mansion at Notting hill. I was like in a dream, free to travel around London by day and by night the four of us will dance till we drop at The Crypt. I learned a lot from Charlie, he loves dancing so much it’s like a contagious illness that spreads all over the body down to the next person. From day 1 to-day 4, Charlie never left my side, but on the 5th day he was suddenly called back to New York to sign one of his biggest project leaving the three of us to continue our London escapade of course Bruce was there tagging along, well actually guarding me and my every move but Charlie returned the following day. On the seventh day, our last day,Charlie and Claudette went to the city and talked with the wedding planner and her teams of men and women in charge of my wedding and soon to be Claudette’s. On the other hand Alec and I stayed in our own rooms at the mansion. As I checked on Alec whom I’ve heard was now coming down with a fever the incident happened. He pulled me to his bed as I checked for his temperature and suddenly kissed me aggressively as his hands explored my body at the same time. It was such a suffocating kiss, it was like drowning in the warmth and the passion, I did everything I could to get out of his grip but in the end I ended up kissing him back, then the kisses started to taste very sweet then suddenly he stopped moving, Alec passed out apparently from his high fever. When Charlie and Claudette came home that night, Alec’s fever came down already but leaving the air of awkwardness. I could not put myself to face Claudette and Alec now, luckily Charlie and I returned to France that night leaving the two and that incident behind. I know it was all because of his fever and nothing else. Then a sudden knock at my door jolted me back to reality. “Ready?!” It was Claudette. “Valerie, you look so beautiful! Everyone is waiting.” We descended the stairs and went out my villa, as we took the secret path towards the Blue Rose garden where the ceremony will take place I suddenly stopped and embraced Claudette. “You know how much I love you, you are like a sister to me, you’re my only best friend and now as you look so alluring in that lovely Japanese kimono marching as my bridesmaid, you make me feel so relaxed and envious.” She started laughing, “Silly girl, so you wanted to wear the kimono after all. Hahaha, and to think that you deliberately planned everyone’s attire today. Anyway, kidding aside, I am really happy for you. Just like me you found the man who will truly make you happy. I will be seeing you more often now since you two will be living in London. Now let’s get going.” Claudette guided me towards daddy and went to her place in line. “You look so beautiful your mother would’ve been so happy and proud. You are my one and only treasure, my  family, after your mother died you were all that matters to me that’s why I worked hard to build an empire for you my sweet. Now that my little princes found a man who will love you and put your happiness first I can finally rest. Though I’m sad to give you away in marriage, I’m happy for you.” Then my father embraced me warmly and kissed my forehead as tears began to swell.  As I walked down the Blue Rose garden aisle, I can’t help but remember my childhood days and the 31 days I’ve known Charlie.

As we exchanged vows in poetry, we exchanges poesy rings bearing the message a vila mon coeur gardi li mo – here is my heart guard it well accompanied  by a Sapphire oval ring.  After the ceremony, we all went inside the main hall where a four-layered black and white cake sits in  the middle of the long buffet table. It was delicately assembled, the cake was a combination of carrot, almond, chocolate fudge and ginger spice flavors.  and was topped with a small bouquet of  Blue roses. The food was in Western and Eastern cuisine that also includes my favorite French delicacies. Everything went so grand and smoothly, We danced Tango, Rumba, Salsa and Waltz till our feet hurt. It was such an overwhelming experience for me. The next day both Charlie and I bid daddy au revoir, we will now be living as married couple at his mansion in Notting hill after our 3 weeks Asian honeymoon tour.

Stay still

A 7-year-old kid today will not stay put even if you say so…

Bribing wont even do you good…

most teenagers would be okay if you get into an agreement,

but it is different for this younger ones…

Most kids today are with Attention Deficit HyperActivity disorder

but personally I think these kids are just moving

according to the speed of their on.

They are just seeking attention, like normal kids do too

but only in a different way and pacing.

So it is not wise to say stay still

unless you are willing to give your full attention… your love

suddenly…tears

I have been a cry baby since I was born, Shed millions of tears specially in my early adulthood. Why? I really don’t know, is it a sign of resignation? failure? hopelessness? happiness or relief? Why do we shed tears? I never really fathom why, it won’t do me any good at all. I just end up with puffy eyes, red nose and chest pains when I cry. I am always in denial, well that’s what’s perceived of me.

Suddenly my tears to escaped my eyes, not knowing why exactly (again). Let me figure it out first. I guess my subconscious mind is telling me to acknowledge the pain building up inside me, the worries I’ve pushed aside. You see I can never start to deal with worries and stress properly, my first reaction is to shove it aside and pretend as if nothing is wrong and live a day at a time but I know there are ways to deal with it properly and I know that I should start now or else it will consume me whole.

It’s suppose to free me of the building pressure but it just makes me more sad, more tensed, more stressed. I just want to be genuinely happy, not putting up facades every single day. Torn from what’s real and wishes still, I now have to make the first step to my discovery and development…easier said than done.  😀

Have you had tears all of a sudden escaping you?

It’s time!!! (a dreadful yet exciting experience)

Ooh! my teeth are clenched, I’m experiencing a different sensation running through my veins. I am somewhat excited and overwhelmed at the same time my stomach is revolting. I am now in heat, it is like an alcohol that burns within me driving out the fighter in me. Whew! I finally finished a glassful of Kefir.

Kefir or Keefir purportedly from either the Turkish “keyif” (joy/pleasure) or “köpür” ((milk) froth, foam), is a fermented milk drink that originated with shepherds of the Caucasus region, who discovered that fresh milk carried in leather pouches would occasionally ferment into an effervescent beverage. It is prepared by inoculating cow,goat, or sheep’s milk with kefir grains (see picture on left). We prefer to use Carabao’s milk and substitute it with pure cow’s milk. It helps  aid in lactose digestion. See link for more info. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kefir

We have been growing these since December of 2009 a gift from my mom’s friend. The maintenance is somewhat expensive but it is nothing compared to the medical expenses we used to have yearly before we had our Kefir time!!! though the taste is sometimes foul, drinking fermented milk (spoiled milk) much stronger than plain yoghurt is indeed hard but there are times that it’s just another alcohol to drink, we’ll taste varies from your mood, milk used and the temperature the Kefir was fermented the night before. But as long as it is good for our digestive system, our health the taste is the least for us to consider.

From a teaspoon sized Kefiran now we are up to a teacupful…my sister posted an ad “share your Kefir” just a couple of days ago and had responses from different parts of the Metro. Care to experience it? It’s time!  🙂