Windy Tales – my version…amazed

This is my version of “Windy Tales”   http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=3447

It’s just a part of my collection. I am not a pro on photography and I was on a plane going home so the shots are not as defined as I’d like them to be.

I love how these clouds shift shapes and shades. From the cauliflower heads to the waves of the sea. Snow white cotton balls here and there, like the back of a lamb flock that’s moving forward. I also thought of cotton candies.

I felt like a kid wanting to run around, jump from cloud to cloud, and even swim the vast sea of fluffiness.

A letter from God

Training for Victory is a ten-week discipleship course for individuals who wish to deepen their walk with the Lord, and I am attending it. We are on our 4th week and we discussed about “Personal Prayer”. On our application time, we were encourage to open our hearts and mind as we pray for ourselves and LISTENED to what GOD will say, then we were asked to write everything that HE said to us in a letter. This is what my letter stated:

My beloved daughter;
Your sufferings with your relationship will soon end. You have shown repentance from the sins you’ve committed and praised ME as you forgave your husband from leaving you and the kids. Do not worry for blessings will pour down upon your family. Your children will grow healthy and in MY care. I will guide you, I AM what you need, I will be your husband and the father of your kids. Your protector, your provider, your father. You shall not seek a male person in your life again that will make you cry or hurt you and the kids. No more tears MY daughter, for I AM here.

I love you!

…after that revelation we then prayed for our seat mates and as the Holy Spirit guides us Tita Deedee layed her hands on my shoulder and read this verse Psalm 34:17 -18 and it says :  When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. and prayed a prayer exactly what I wrote on my paper, my letter from GOD. My tears just kept streaming down my face. Overwhelmed by the power and the grace of God, HE answered my restlessness that crept within me these past 3 days.

I urge you to do the same, open your hearts and mind, LISTEN to GOD, He is always with you…

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Stay still

A 7-year-old kid today will not stay put even if you say so…

Bribing wont even do you good…

most teenagers would be okay if you get into an agreement,

but it is different for this younger ones…

Most kids today are with Attention Deficit HyperActivity disorder

but personally I think these kids are just moving

according to the speed of their on.

They are just seeking attention, like normal kids do too

but only in a different way and pacing.

So it is not wise to say stay still

unless you are willing to give your full attention… your love

Their LOVE Story

I heard her story when she first graced her appearance to our Victory Group (a bible study group – but not your conventional one) where she shared her “love” story. With that very touching story she was also interviewed at 700 Club Asia. A VERY REAL, sad love story that gave me shivers when I first heard of it.

Then yesterday I attended our church’s Leaders’ Convergence, they shared her story, this time it was in a video with her husband. I was really in tears and thought that miracle can happen to anyone who seeks God for intervention. And with our church starting a new series today entitled “Infinitude” where in it tackles about God’s immeasurable attributes. It’s a four-part series; this week’s topic is about “Immutable” – wherein God’s attributes NEVER change. The pastor sited so many samples of changes around us even the relationships we are in, especially when we do not focus on fixed points, like God, who never changes. His mind, purpose, plan and promises…again they showed Tina’s video. Even as I write it now my eyes get clouded with tears of hope, joy and love…

You see Tina is a real fighter, a real believer and follower of God. She got married because she was about to gave birth to their son, and as like all married couples problem arose and things got difficult. They already had 2 sons when her husband started cheating on her and left them. The husband even said (on the video) that he thought that God would accept what he did because he put the blame all on her, he filed for an annulment. During those times Tina sought God. Read the bible with her sons and continued praying asking God for guidance and intervention. His husband on the other hand was feeling incomplete instead of the freedom that he thought he would feel after leaving his family. He was left with nothing,, no God, no family and no wife.

Then he went to pastoral counseling went to Victory Weekend, got baptized again and got born-again …again. He started courting Tina, went on dates with her, took her out-of-town, and gave flowers and card saying “I love you”. And after 9 long years they got married…again. As Tina puts it, “it’s still a work in progress” but as God as the center of their relationship, their family the drastic changes that happened before that ruined them is now turning completely around. Their family is now happily living the way God planned it, God promised us that whoever seeks, will find, whoever asked will be answered…true to His words, He answered Tina’s prayers. Truly nothing is impossible with our One true God. He never changes His plans, His Promises, His mind and His Love for all of us…He has a different approach, different ways with dealing with all of us. So why fix your focus on things that would gradually fade away, Earthly treasures, Worldly needs and happiness will not last forever.

Her story gave me hope, joy and sadness all at the same time…will I have the same miracles, good changes , turns and chances in life? Well, I already am confident that I can answer this with a big YES! I got involved with the church and so are my 3 kids… and true enough the changes in our lives even without my husband beside me is good and gave me peace of mind because I know that My God , my savior, my provider is also my kids’ FATHER and my best friend, my partner forever and that will never change. A testimony for everyone to listen and learn that relying on your own strength and own capabilities are never enough.

With immeasurable faith in God her story will be mine or yours one day…

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childhood crush

I recently found out that an elementary classmate of mine had a crush on me. It’s a real shocker! All those years I thought I was the ugly duckling of the class… hahaha who are you kidding! it’s not that important now. I don’t think of things like such. He is now a friend in my social site, we chat if we get the chance. Earlier this day he asked me how to get to as specific place, a company wherein he will have his interview the next day…well, since I’m in front of my PC I can Google the map in seconds. Gave him the instructions and even sent him the link. All of a sudden he asked me to meet up after the job interview and have dinner at my place. When I asked why, He replied “It’s important in life to be in contact/connection with old friends before moving on with life”. Gosh, who are you kidding!!!!! It’s such a lousy excuse.

A new beginning

A new blossom…spring is finally here

It’s been quite sometime now since I decided to free myself with my past. I have clung onto it since I became aware of my surroundings, memories from childhood to adulthood. Bitter-sweet memories and crazy stuff. Now that would be some accounting…

How do you really let go of the past? How do I start anew? Can I forget everything that has happened? Have I had enough of all these? Have I learned from all my mistakes?

I never knew how to answer all my questions or if I really want to stop and think off answers. I’ve always been so proud not letting emotions overcome me. As a defense I’ve devised this façade that I thought would protect me, and help me sort out things.Then came the denial stage…followed by delusions and betrayal. All along I felt pain, confusion and distraught.

But somehow everything turned around in a blink of an eye… it happened so fast I was caught myself enjoying the happiness and contentment I am experiencing now. I have decided to take a step towards a new life, I renewed my Faith with God, keep constant check on my moral values, mistakes and started to lead my 3 kids too. Doing volunteer services for the church and attending extra activities involving Christians like us. It’s not as if I am not encountering problems anymore, but it’s a fact that each of us will always be tested but for now I can safely say, we are happy and living by God’s grace.

Full of crap…

This one is full of crap!

Have you enjoyed making up stories to cover up for your little mistakes? I guess…hehehe I often laugh at mere white lies. Can you imagine yourself savoring white lies? It is quite fun having these nonsense escape you. It is a wishful thinking, release of what’s suppose to consume your common sense.  Let me see if I can generate examples of what I want to convey to you readers…

There was this lady whom I am friends with for years now, she always tells me stuff which I would love to hear, or so she thought, because whenever we converse I would rather agree and smile back at her. And when she would ask me things I was suppose to have accomplished for her I would simply make up an excuse, just a small one-close to the truth to cover up for my shortcomings or mistakes.

I am not a techie, I don’t understand or even bother to be updated from all  new stuff that is being upgraded every now and then. Mobile phones are indeed proven essential yet I don’t think owning the latest and most expensive one is necessary but I do like seeing new gadgets once in a while.

I always pretend to be the “know all” person…when in fact I would just learn things when I need to…just that a keen pick up is very useful to me, though I am a bookworm and would often adopt what I can. I just enjoy being the know all person that I am now… but do you know that sometimes acting as if you’re dumb is quiet exciting and fun? you ought to try it …

Here I am now…

“Fourteen years!!! Wow, so it’s been that long since I first encountered my so-called infatuation.” whispered Selene as she tries to recollect what happened along those bitter-sweet years, but all she can feel is a stabbing pain of regret. She just finished another manga, Japanese comics that she got herself hooked up with. “I guess it’s my 100th manga already and I am really engrossed or should i say caught up with wishful thinking?”

Come to think of it Selene is escaping again into her own world, her own realm which she started to build when she was only 9 years old. A perfect world where she is always happy, doing whatever she wants, interacting with whoever she desires and gets what she needs. Love , attention, affection, joy, peace, happiness and everything else that she could ask for. But it’s proven that it did not serve her well.

Selene and Eros met Fourteen years ago, got intimate the minute they saw each other, not realizing the consequences of all their childish and irrational deeds. Their relationship started as rocky as a ship hauled by the giant waves in a stormy sea. But since it was Selene’s “first” she decided to go along with the hot current of lust and adventure, lost and blinded by her heart’s desire (or so she thought back then)she was rapidly being swallowed into an abyss where nothing can help her escape. She bore Eros’ children yet unsatisfied with the outcome of her not so fairytale love story Selene decided to seek her happiness elsewhere but as she ventures from one affair after the other it only increased the longing for freedom from all that has happened. She is empty, numb and in despair because she lost her youth, her life , her sanity, herself. The energetic, lovable, happy youthful Selene  no longer exist in this world. Her journey with Eros finally ended 4 years ago after an on-off battle for love, trust and respect, full of heartaches and delusions. I would say Selene lost that battle but until now she still continues to fight yet another battle, but this time she no longer fights for any other reasons other than her most precious children. Even without Eros by her side she is not alone anymore, she has a support group that increases as she shares her time to those in need.

Now as she closes another manga she somehow feels the loneliness creeping inside her trying to invade her guarded heart. She is now living a somewhat peaceful disposition in life…behind those addictive manga and writing hobby.

“I guess it’s time to read another manga where I can exchange places with each hero, taking on adventure and love one after the other.” sighed Selene and now is browsing her collection. “Dreamland here I go again. I will definitely face reality in due time”

Stalking or spying?

 

Have you ever stalked someone? I often react casually when I hear about stalkers, be it for good or bad purposes. Little did I know that I was a stalker too or was it just spying? Oh, I don’t know you be the judge.

It started out with a neighbor of ours, she is around 20 years of age, petite and works in a call center. I don’t know what interests me but I just found myself getting excited whenever I see her pass by our house. From my room I’d follow her as she walks along the hall of the building apartment where we share the same floor. I discovered where she worked, I can even sense her whenever she approaches. Sometimes I purposely would wait for her, if I miss I would still pick up her scent in the hallway. Pretty weird, keep in mind that I was brought up not to mind strangers and neighbors, we respect and greet them if we happen to see or pass by them but we do mind our own business and don’t stick our noses beyond our personal spaces. So you see what I have been doing is really extra-ordinary, way beyond my beliefs and capabilities. When she ran away from home I still got to hear bits and pieces of about her from her family (some high-tech radar ear I have haha).

Then around that time I had encountered a new neighbor again sharing the same floor we are in. I was caught of guard, I was reading manga online very late one night when he asked me which site I was reading from. He was on the other side of the window where the pc was. He was actually looking at my manga!!! Although he introduced himself, I instantly shrugged him of with my short non-emotional reply without looking at him. How absurd! Coming from me, who enjoys meeting new people, having friends around and enjoying the outside world. Well I thought that was the end of it but since that night I started taking notes of who he lives with and what interest him most…well I know one thing for sure we both share the same interest because he said to me that night “we are indeed both otaku” 

So in total I have two different neighbors I am keeping notes now because the first neighbor I’m interested in is now back . Now starts another chapter of my stalking/spying game…